


recess

by gotchick, pinkfen



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Blow Jobs, Classroom Sex, Come Swallowing, Deepthroating, Dom Lee Jeno, Dom/sub, ENDGAME NOMIN AND RENHYUCK, Exhibitionism, Face-Fucking, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Foursome, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, Hyung Kink, Jealousy, Kissing, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan is Whipped, Lee Jeno is Whipped, Love Confessions, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Possessive Behavior, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Tension, Slice of Life, Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Top Lee Jeno, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:41:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28107192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gotchick/pseuds/gotchick, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkfen/pseuds/pinkfen
Summary: Recess was only forty-five minutes, but Jaemin knew better than anyone that this was sufficient time to give a satisfactory blowjob.OR, Jaemin agrees to enter into a fuckbuddies relationship with three upperclassmen, only because it’s his crush Jeno asking.(Updated with sequel chapters AND epilogue)
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 219





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you didn’t already know, both of these accounts belong to me! I have different works posted on both, so you can check em out.
> 
> It’s possible you may have read the FIRST 2 CHAPTERS of this fic [recess] before as I posted it back in august but deleted it after less than 2 days bc I rarely post PWP and got stupidly self-conscious lol. Many people showed it love then though, and I felt bad for doing that after these readers enjoyed it. I also really wanted it on my account as it’s a work that has a special place in my heart, so I eventually decided to repost it. [eta - the original fic has been extended by 2 extra sequel chapters now plus an epilogue, making it 5 chaps in total]
> 
> Again, the first 2 chapters are a rework of a got7 oneshot from my 2016 collection ’24 hours’. The characters are 16-17 yrs old first and second years in high school, jsyk their ages before reading.
> 
> [chap 2 will be posted in a short while lol i’m going to tag the pinkfen account as co-creator but I actually have to log in and out btw both accounts to approve it and its a real confusing hassle ;;]
> 
> as the tags say, this fic is endgame nomin and renhyuck!

Recess was only forty-five minutes, but Jaemin knew better than anyone that this was sufficient time to give a satisfactory blowjob.

He had tried and tested this countless times by now, ever since the first day he raced towards the empty classroom where he had arranged to meet Jeno on shaky feet, running a trembling and sweaty hand through his hair -- and skidding to a stunned halt outside the dim, unlit classroom to see Jeno already inside and lounging with his lazy pantherlike grace in the teacher's chair, but not alone.

That was the first day he had been introduced to Renjun and Donghyuck. He had seen them around school on the corridors before but never exchanged words because they were a year older than him, sophomores like Jeno.

It felt like a sucker punch right in Jaemin's gut, seeing the three of them in the room for the first time, waiting for him. Because he had thought, foolishly and one-sidedly, when Jeno casually asked to meet him the next day after archery practice, that it was a date.

Jeno had been his most respected and idolized _sunbae_ in the archery club since he joined at the start of the year as a freshman. He seldom spoke and kept to himself, but Jaemin had noticed his form and skill was one of the best and most formidable among the senior members.

It was unbelievably masculine and attractive.

It didn't help that Jeno was also ruinously handsome; tall, dark and mysterious.

But Jaemin never knew how much sexiness was hidden beneath that deceptively calm and composed exterior, until that first recess when he stepped apprehensively into the classroom and all three of them looked up from their murmured low conversation.

He blushed slightly at all of their gazes pinned on him, scrutinizing. They were all very good-looking, in different ways, and intimidating in a fashion that wasn't merely from their additional year on him.

"So you're the infamous Na Jaemin," the cute-looking boy spoke up, breaking the awkward silence. His eyes were warm when he smiled, making him look much more approachable. He looked like the typical wholesome model student but his tie was loosened around his neck, top button undone and his feet were propped up arrogantly on a table as he leaned back on a chair. He beckoned Jaemin forward and he cleared his throat and advanced in confusion, unsure of the meaning of his words.

"I'm Donghyuck." He stuck out a genial hand.

Jaemin stuttered. "Nice to meet you, sunbae.”

A current of static sparked between their skin when their hands touched, and Jaemin's face heated up. Donghyuck smirked at him leeringly, sphinxlike and caressed his hand a second longer than was comfortable.

The other boy watching them quietly from the side had large, beautifully-shaped eyes that glinted silently as if with repressed laughter. He looked like he had walked out of an anime.

"Renjun." He didn't offer Jaemin a hand, his voice unnervingly low.

”Um..." Jaemin started uncertainly, wondering what was going on. Had Jeno invited him here to introduce him to his friends? His heart leapt pathetically, still not having fully given up the hope that Jeno liked him back.

"What are we doing here?" His voice sounded squeaky, nervous in the silence as compared to the others' unbothered ones.

Finally, Jeno spoke up, his deep voice reverberating in Jaemin's every nerve. His blood felt like liquid fire, ignited by Jeno's mere address of him. He had never stopped feeling Jeno's presence even for a second since he entered the room, so physically aware of his eyes burning into Jaemin's back it felt like they were boring holes.

But he was astonished by what Jeno said:

"Get on your knees."

There wasn't anything dictatorial or commanding about the statement, but it was undeniably an order.

"W-what?" Jaemin squeaked, spinning around, not believing his ears. He had been dreaming of Jeno saying these very words to him for months now -- but definitely not in front of any other people. He thought he might be having a very bizarre wet dream.

Jeno's voice changed subtly, not seeming displeased or impatient by Jaemin's disobedience. Instead, he said in a silky tone:

"I've seen the way you look at me. Don't you want to please me, Jaemin-ah?"

The first time Jeno ever said his name made a shudder course down Jaemin's body. He felt weak, dizzy. It sounded so much more gentle and warm than he had imagined.

"I-I do." He didn't know what he was saying until he heard the words coming out of his mouth, in a dazed voice that didn't seem like his. Jeno looked aroused and pleased by his sultry tone, almost a whimper. Jaemin flushed hotly, shocked by his own brazenness. He had never confessed his elephant-sized crush to Jeno, but apparently it was more than obvious.

Donghyuck and Renjun were watching their conversation wordlessly, looking darkly amused.

”Good," Jeno murmured, almost purring in approval. Jaemin felt his crotch tighten, a familiar heat pooling as Jeno ran his eyes lustfully down the length of Jaemin's body from his head to his toes. The want in his gaze was unmistakable.

But the person who stood up, chair legs squeaking, was Renjun.

"Get on your knees." He repeated Jeno's order tonelessly, looking at Jaemin, but his voice was surprisingly gentle.

Jaemin felt himself sinking down, his knees bending and landing on the cool tile floor as if in a trance.

Renjun's hand cupped the back of his head, carding through his hair. "Good boy."

He moved forward, unzipping his uniform pants. Slowly, Renjun guided Jaemin's head forward till his lips were touching the tent of Renjun's crotch through his cotton underwear, a damp spot of precome growing. He heard Renjun's soft intake of breath as he clumsily mouthed Renjun's cock through the fabric, feeling it harden.

But what made Jaemin's own crotch grow increasingly hard, till it felt like a rock, was the sensation of Jeno's eyes on him, following his every move with silent but hawklike intensity. Renjun's cock was dizzyingly hard by now -- it was his first time touching or even looking at another boy's dick in real life, though he had watched his fair share of softcore and hardcore porn -- and he heard his shallow, ragged breaths above him, hands shaking in his haste to lower his briefs; but all Jaemin could focus on was the more distant but so much more crystalline labouring of Jeno's measured breaths, the little hitching sound in his throat when Renjun grabbed Jaemin's hair with less gentleness than before and thrust deep into his mouth.

For a moment, Jaemin choked on the blunt head of Renjun's cock smothering his throat, but then Renjun withdrew a little and he managed to catch his breath. Renjun tasted bitter and foreign but not unpleasant, and he found himself improvising on the spot, calculating how to swirl his tongue and sheathe his teeth over Renjun's length to make his fingers tighten in Jaemin's hair and his breaths grow louder and more audible, his thrusts quickening.

Renjun was holding his head almost immobile, but Jaemin managed to move his eyes slightly towards Jeno, still sitting behind the teacher's desk. His heart skipped a beat of disbelief to see that Jeno's right hand had disappeared beneath the desk, and the flawless skin of his cheekbones was flushed blotchily in a way Jaemin had never seen, beads of sweat gathering on his temples. His mouth was slightly parted, eyes glazed over and unfocused but still unblinkingly trained on Jaemin's mouth taking Renjun's dick all the way in.

Holy fuck… was Jeno jerking off to him sucking Renjun?

Their eyes met, and a low, uncontrolled groan escaped Jeno's lips.

It went straight to Jaemin's groin. Fireworks exploding in his mind and his own hand itching to reach down into his pants, he redoubled his efforts to bring Renjun to orgasm. He grabbed Renjun's hips, hands moving slowly over his pelvis to circle the base of his cock with his fingers, closing over the remaining length he couldn't take into his mouth. That seemed to be what sent Renjun spiraling over the edge, an anguished moan muffled with one of his hands as his other held Jaemin still, making two last deep thrusts into the back of Jaemin's throat before coming hotly.

The classroom plunged into a thick silence after the last squelching sounds quieted and Renjun's hips stuttered and stilled, his cock going limp in Jaemin's mouth. He pulled out, swaying on his knees a bit, and Donghyuck reached out to steady him with a firm hand on the small of his back but Jaemin noticed his own legs were strategically crossed under the table, other hand folded discreetly over his own crotch.

But he didn't care whether he had excited Donghyuck. What he cared more, much more about was whether he had managed to bring Jeno to orgasm, just by blowing Renjun.

But when he swivelled his gaze to Jeno again, still on his knees, he was sorely disappointed to find Jeno's expression back to its usual inscrutable and unreadable one that made Jaemin so crazy. Jeno was so mysterious, so deep. Jaemin wanted to know every single thought he was thinking.

Jeno was still looking at him, eyes soft and amazed.

"Swallow it," Jaemin heard him say distantly. He was still reeling from the first blowjob he had ever given another guy. It was definitely not what he had expected upon entering this classroom.

He gulped, feeling a trickle of Renjun's come flow down his loosened throat. Jeno watched him expectantly.

Jaemin took a deep breath, and swallowed. He could've sworn a shudder shook Jeno's shoulders the slightest bit, his face paling as his eyes hungrily followed Jaemin's adam's apple bob as Renjun's load went down his throat.

Renjun was zipping himself up in a businesslike way, as if he got blowjobs from random freshmen on a daily basis. Donghyuck was watching Jaemin like a cat would a mouse and Jaemin was slightly afraid Jeno would order him to service Donghyuck next.

But then the bell rang overhead, startling all of them, and Jeno's gaze returned to him, now distant and unfathomable again.

"Will you be back again tomorrow?" he asked, voice soft, and Jaemin was embarrassed at the audible enthusiasm in his own voice as he blurted out, "Yes!”

He spent the rest of the day at school in a daze, mind wandering and racing through various thoughts, all of Jeno.

It was apparent that Jeno had some... kinks he hadn't known of, to say the least. Jaemin guessed from his reactions and instructions that he didn't actually want Jaemin to give him a blowjob, but indubitably got pleasure from watching Jaemin give another guy one. Enough pleasure to bring him to orgasm.

Was this a voyeurism kink, or something else?

And more importantly... did this mean Jeno liked him too?

He astounded even himself with how much he realised he didn't mind. He had been aware of his longtime crush on Jeno, but hadn't realised how deep it was. He hadn't realised he actually liked Jeno enough to want to give him pleasure in any way he wanted, any way he asked, even if it meant blowing someone he didn't know, had just met a few minutes ago.

Of course, it helped that Renjun and Donghyuck were pretty easy on the eyes themselves, and Renjun had been gentle with him. He realised like a bolt of lightning that as long as they asked his permission first, he was open to experimenting with polyamory or multiple partners. If it pleased Jeno.

His heart ached suddenly when he briefly wondered if there was a reason why Jeno didn't personally have oral sex with him, and if it was because he didn't want or couldn't bear to be touched for some reason -- but he decided not to assume anything before he knew the truth. It was possible Jeno just enjoyed reaching arousal and climax this way, for no particular reason.

The next morning, he raced down the corridors the moment the bell pealed, almost tripping over his own feet in his haste. He didn't want to waste a single minute. He was dimly aware of how desperate he appeared, felt, but couldn't bring himself to care.

He felt better and less embarrassed when he arrived and the three of them were already there, though he vaguely wondered if they had skipped the previous class. They looked remarkably like a trio of delinquents, Renjun perching on the teacher's desk and laughing at something Donghyuck was saying as Jeno watched the both of them with obvious warmth.

A thought stopped Jaemin in his tracks. What if the person Jeno enjoyed watching in the blowjob hadn't been Jaemin -- but Renjun?

He had felt, seen with his own eyes Jeno's eyes fixated on him piercingly for the entire duration, but it could have been a trick of his lovelorn mind. He felt a pang of startling jealousy as he resentfully eyed Renjun from outside the door.

But then --

"Jaemin?" Jeno's voice rang out, startling him out of his reverie, and he turned the usual shade of beetroot he sported most of the time around Jeno, face literally lighting up like a glowing bulb at Jeno's attention. He must think Jaemin had a perpetual sunburn or something.

He tripped in, feeling as antsy as the previous day but Donghyuck's friendly smile relaxed him a little. Renjun was running intimate eyes over him, and shooting him a faint sexy bedroom smirk as if he had some kind of claim over Jaemin just because they had had oral sex the day before. No offense meant, but Jaemin hoped Renjun hadn't developed feelings for him because he wouldn't be able to return them.

Jeno didn't seem to notice or mind Renjun's checking him out. He just mildly said, "Close the door."

Jaemin obeyed and wondered what this meant.

The classroom was shrouded in shadows as usual, slats of the windows half-open to let in the late morning breeze but lights turned off. One of the ceiling fans was spinning at the lowest speed, blades leisurely turning and moving the air gently.

His earlier suspicions were reassured a little, at least, when this time Jeno told him with his usual blaseness to suck Donghyuck off. Donghyuck's eyes gleamed as Jaemin turned towards him, swallowing.

He swung his legs off the table and reached down to unbutton his pants, then lowered his zipper. He stood up and Jaemin prepared to sink onto his knees like the previous day, but then Jeno said:

"Wait."

His voice was low but authoritative, and Donghyuck obediently paused too. He seemed not to mind waiting as he kept his eyes patiently on Jaemin. His smile widened when Jeno ordered Jaemin without ceremony:

"Take off your shirt."

"W-what?" Jaemin hesitated, not because he didn't want to but because he felt suddenly shy at Jeno asking him to strip.

But Jeno continued in his silken voice, "I want to see you," and Jaemin complied with such alacrity, he almost gave himself whiplash.

Donghyuck and Renjun regarded him with frank appreciation when he had unbuttoned and flung his uniform shirt aside on one of the tables. He felt bashful, being silently devoured by the three of their eyes, but found that he was almost oblivious to the sensation of the other two's as his skin tingled deliciously under Jeno's intent gaze.

Jeno's voice was hoarser when he spoke again.

"As expected, your body is perfect." His voice was quietly and proprietarily proud, as if he knew Jaemin's body responded only to him.

The words sent chills of pleasure down Jaemin's spine. Could this possibly mean... that Jeno had been watching Jaemin.... for even half as long as Jaemin had been watching him?

Jeno stretched his hand out with the same unassuming easiness and caressed Jaemin's right bicep absently, fingers running lingeringly over the smooth contours and tightening over the involuntary flex of tension.

This one touch alone, accompanied by Jeno's faint sounds of pleasure as Jaemin sucked Donghyuck off earnestly and slightly more erotically than the previous day, were enough to carry him all the way towards Donghyuck's shuddering climax.

When he left the classroom, he had to sprint breathlessly to the nearest boys' toilet because his own dick was stiff in an unabating and painful erection and he could feel an increasing amount of sticky precome dampening his underwear dangerously.

They fell into an unspoken but never-reneged-on arrangement after that, the four of them gathering without fail every recess in the empty and darkened classroom to engage in their sordid and most certainly scandalously illegal activities. If they were caught, all of them would probably be expelled, and the punishment would come down harder on Jeno, Renjun and Donghyuck, but this only seemed to make the thrill more tantalizing. Truly, forbidden fruit was the sweetest.

One morning, Jaemin felt slightly anticlimactic to rush to the classroom again to find the door ajar and only Donghyuck inside.

"Don't worry, they'll be here in a few minutes," he smiled reassuringly at Jaemin, as if reading his thoughts, and Jaemin blushed. Was this attachment of his to all three of them, this hyung worship of sorts, which had grown steadily as time passed, so obvious?

It was difficult not to break the ice, the steamy sessions they had been engaging in since the first day they met. While normal people exchanged names and introductions, they had skipped straight to exchanging bodily fluids. So it was no wonder Jaemin felt more intimate than was probably appropriate to the three upperclassmen, including Jeno, for the brief span of time they had known each other.

”Tell me," Donghyuck surprised him by leaning over from his chair as Jaemin settled down beside him to wait, "Do you feel like you're being manipulated?"

"What?" Jaemin blinked, lost for a moment. Donghyuck's voice was so mellifluous it made everything he said sound gentle and calm.

"By us," Donghyuck clarified. "I mean, our arrangement isn't exactly... conventional." He raised an ironic eyebrow.

Jaemin gawked at him a moment, considering the question seriously, before answering decisively, "No."

Donghyuck looked relieved in a way that made his heart warm. He didn’t know Donghyuck had developed any personal feelings for him, beyond that of sex buddies.

"I mean," Jaemin elaborated airily, trying to affect a sophistication as natural as Donghyuck's, "I like Jeno sunbae. And I want to make him happy."

" -- I would do anything to make him happy," he corrected.

And, he wanted to add but didn't, he didn't mind very much giving Renjun and Donghyuck blowjobs, as long as they were platonic. He even enjoyed them, especially when it gave Jeno pleasure and that in turn aroused him. He didn't know if this made him a messed-up person, to be cool about fellating his friends; or if others would see it as Jeno corrupting him, but he didn't really care.

Donghyuck was gazing at him with his head tilted thoughtfully like Jaemin had said something that surprised him.

"Wow," he said finally, with no hint of dryness. He shook his head. "Jeno's one lucky guy." For some reason he looked wistful.

But Jaemin had no time to ask why because just then the door creaked open and Renjun and Jeno slipped in together. They looked breathless, as if they had hurried there as fast as they could because they missed Jaemin too. Jaemin's heart skipped a beat, although in a drastically different way for Jeno and Renjun.

He had come to slowly realise that once he had experienced it for the first time, there was no other feeling in the world that could possibly replace, or even come close to what he felt when he managed to make Jeno come by his own hand, even without touching him. When Jeno erupted into orgasm that shook him and made his usually clamped shut lips release an involuntary moan, it felt like flying. Just the look on Jeno's face, worshipful and unguarded, was enough to get him off too, shatter without being touched by anyone. It made him feel sensational, powerful. Invincible.

Renjun and Donghyuck usually seemed content to heed Jeno's instructions without protest, like Jaemin. He had taken turns to give them each blowjobs from that day on, polishing and honing his skill. But deep inside, no matter how much he told himself to be content with the present and not hope for more, he still wished that one day Jeno would allow Jaemin to touch him. Sucking Renjun and Donghyuck off was satisfying enough to his libido, but obviously no replacement for Jaemin's raw lust for Jeno, which was so strong it was almost a physical ache. There was no comparison.

But today, besides the flush of his face from the lateness, Renjun's eyes seemed slightly different, glowing with a glitter more dangerous than usual.

"Why not we try something different?" he interjected as Jaemin was starting to go down on his knees before him again, hands automatically reaching out to help Renjun undo his pants.

They both looked towards Jeno, who looked thrown for an instant at Renjun's deviation from the routine, a little flustered. But he quickly regained his composure, voice as unflappably calm as always and almost bored as he replied gamely: "Sure, what?"

Renjun grinned, flashing his shark teeth. "I'll suck Jaemin off instead. Poor kid's been doing all the work, he deserves a reward, eh?" He chucked Jaemin under the chin.

It might have been a trick of his eyes, but Jaemin thought he saw Jeno's eyes freeze over for a nanosecond.

Probably a trick, he decided dazedly as Renjun crouched before him in one smooth, agile motion and took Jaemin's zipper between his perfect teeth.

Jaemin moaned instinctively at the contact and heat of Renjun's breath and mouth against his sensitive dick. He hadn't imagined ever receiving a blowjob from anyone other than Jeno, but maybe if it was Renjun, he wouldn't mind...

His eyes flickered wildly around from beneath hooded lids, hands going down to tangle in Renjun's soft hair.

"Ahh..." A careless groan slipped from his mouth as Renjun latched his plump pink lips onto Jaemin's cock and sucked it slowly into his mouth, inch by inch. Jaemin looked down and his thighs trembled at Renjun's cheeks flushed with pleasure, filled up with Jaemin's dick, slick and eager as he worked himself up and down on Jaemin's now rigid dick.

Jaemin clamped a panicked hand over his mouth, muffling his pants and moans. Renjun _had_ to have some experience to be this skilled. No one was born this good at sucking cock, he could attest to that personally.

Renjun kept his hands anchored steadily around Jaemin's hipbones as he sucked him all the way to completion, teasing his tongue over the throbbing veins running over Jaemin's cock and pressing it against the slit to lap up every drop of precome as soon as it pearled. It was enough to drive one crazy.

But he wasn't Jeno.

Jaemin came with Jeno's name on his lips, hot and breathless, and Renjun swallowed it all like a pro, even licking his lips smugly. Thankfully he didn't let go of Jaemin immediately because he practically melted into a puddle of satiated and boneless mush the moment he came, and teetered alarmingly on his numb legs.

He slumped against Renjun, who caught him easily with an arm wrapped around his shoulders. Renjun's chest was surprisingly firm, muscles defined through his flimsy shirt.

"Was it that good?" he teased Jaemin, ruffling his hair, but sounded pleased by the effect of his blowjob.

They were so distracted by the post-blow awkwardness that they didn't notice till after a few seconds that the other two were uncharacteristically quiet. Normally both of them would be getting into it, Donghyuck slightly less vocal than Jeno but only because he was more cautious and deliberately kept himself in check.

His breath catching in his throat, Jaemin swung his gaze to Jeno. His face was the frustrating blank it always was, and in his peripheral vision he registered Donghyuck's lips pinched in a thin white line.

Neither of them were jerking off, or seemed to have done so.

"What's wrong?" Renjun asked, sounding just as bewildered as he felt by the sudden tension in the air. "You guys didn't like the show?"

No one responded.

Renjun laughed breezily and took his hands off Jaemin's body. "I guess they like to watch you blowing me more." He raised his shoulders in a helpless shrug towards Jaemin.

Jaemin didn't really care why Donghyuck actually looked kind of pissed for the first time since they had met. His gaze was drawn helplessly back to Jeno, whose expression still appeared carved out of stone. But it was obvious he hadn't enjoyed it as much as prior days.

A spike of panic stabbed Jaemin. Was Jeno cooling off him, or losing interest? Or was it as Renjun said, that it wasn't as enjoyable watching him being the one sucked off? Perhaps the routine of the arrangement had some significance to both of them he didn't know yet, that made them unable to gain pleasure if the roles were switched.

He didn't know it then, but that was just the start of a tumultous and bewildering phase.

The next day, Jaemin prepared himself to return to their old routine, but Donghyuck surprised him by aggressively seizing his hips and grinding his face into Jaemin's crotch, making a shameless sound which instantly turned him on.

He couldn't resist grabbing hold of Donghyuck's hair and fucking his mouth as Donghyuck moaned like an animal in heat, careless of being heard. His skill at giving blowjobs was almost as formidable as Renjun's. Maybe they had learnt from the same teacher. Or each other.

But this time, Renjun was the one who looked like his fingernails were being pulled out as he sat like a statue in his chair with legs crossed and arms folded, no hint of his easy laidback grin. He got up and slammed out of the classroom before Donghyuck and Jaemin even finished, without bothering to throw back a polite excuse.

Jeno stayed, remaining motionless behind the teacher's desk, but he didn't utter a word as before. Jaemin tried to sneak a glance at him but the flatness in Jeno's eyes was so intimidating it looked like it could level mountains. Donghyuck seemed to lose steam after Renjun left, and Jaemin felt his erection wilting a little at Renjun's obvious annoyance too, but they both gave valiant efforts to finishing it off. Not that Jeno, the only spectator, looked like he had gained any pleasure from the view either when Jaemin slid his cock out of Donghyuck's mouth and Donghyuck swallowed, wiping his lips miserably.

None of them said anything, though, and dispersed as usual once the bell rang.

As Jaemin trudged back to his class, his lower body was blissful and numb with that wonderful post-orgasm sensation, but his chest somehow felt empty.

He was determined to return to the original arrangement the next day, not sure where the source of abrupt tension emerged from, and sucked Renjun off with a feeling of relief as Jeno and Donghyuck seemed to defrost too, joining in as enthusiastically as usual.

But occasionally, he didn't know why Renjun and Donghyuck sometimes fought over blowing him, and the person who didn't get to would sit there sullen-faced and sour and blatantly unaroused.

He briefly entertained the notion that both of them had fallen for him and were battling over him in a love triangle, but dismissed it as unlikely. It made him feel hollow inside, but he had a feeling none of the three upperclassmen were interested in him romantically at all.

So the tension between the four of them continued building, but strangely even as it did they only seemed to get more entangled with each other, their need growing. They were addicted to each other, to their daily meetings and the unspeakable things they did, this filthy and sacrilegious secret between the four of them that would shock the world if ever uncovered.

None of them voiced the suggestion to stop, no matter how awkward it got. So they kept going.

Until the day Renjun casually asked Jaemin if he could fuck him.

"What?" Jaemin squeaked, jumping out of his skin. It wasn't everyday that he got propositioned by his friends, much less one of his most well-liked sunbaes.

Renjun raised his shoulders lazily in his trademark shrug. "I've been thinking about it for a while."

"You've been thinking about fucking Jaemin," Donghyuck stated flatly from his seat, and when Jaemin looked over he gulped because Donghyuck's face was literally white with anger.

"Why not?" Renjun mused. "I mean, only if he wants it too, obviously. We've been doing vanilla stuff for so long, it's getting boring."

Jaemin opened his mouth lamely, trying to interject and waylay the visible daggers shooting from Donghyuck's eyes at Renjun, when Jeno slammed his fist on the teacher's desk, making them all jump.


	2. Chapter 2

The three of them were wide-eyed, Jaemin most of all, as for the first time Jeno stood up from his place behind the teacher's desk and walked out from behind it. His long legs ate up the ground as he took large strides towards Renjun.

"How dare you," he gritted out, hauling Renjun out of his chair and to his feet in one smooth move, grabbing a rough fistful of his shirt. "How dare you even think of touching what’s mine."

Renjun was a whole shade paler, eyes flashing back in defiance at Jeno's manhandling but Jeno didn't let go of his white-knuckled grip of Renjun's shirt, their eyes locked furiously together in silent combat till Renjun lowered his in defeat.

Renjun shoved Jeno off, straightening his shirt aggressively and muttering a few expletives under his breath, and Jeno turned on Jaemin, eyes blazing.

Jaemin cowered, taking a step back. Jeno took a bigger one forward, and then he was in all of Jaemin's personal space as he placed his hand on the very ass they were fighting over and covered Jaemin's lips with his own.

The kiss was bruising, intense, but Jeno's lips were trembling curiously, as if for the first time he was in unchartered territory. Jaemin kissed back with breathless eagerness, hands closing into fists in the front of Jeno's shirt like he was afraid Jeno would slip away. He hadn't realised how desperately he had longed to see Jeno lose control -- Jeno who was always so in command of his emotions.

Beneath his hands, Jeno's upper arms were pure muscle. Jaemin was impressed but unsurprised; he had always been more solidly built than Jaemin. The scorching heat and electricity that crackled between every inch of their touching skin was so astonishing and breathtaking it was only then Jaemin realised this was the first time they were actually touching, after all these months.

And he had been right. Compared to Jeno, touching and having sex with Renjun and Donghyuck -- it was incomparable.

Uncontrollably, Jaemin let a blissful and heated moan slip, and felt Jeno tense against him. Jeno detached himself with an effort, and looked over at Renjun and Donghyuck warily, arms tightening protectively around Jaemin's body as if he was still afraid either of them would be attracted by Jaemin or steal him away. He was looking down at Jaemin as though he was the single most erotic and desirable thing in the world.

But they were both relieved and amused to see that Donghyuck had Renjun on his knees, begging for his dick with the tables turned miraculously. Soon enough, Renjun was performing an enthusiastic and very entertaining fellatio on Donghyuck. It was hot enough to make Jaemin's dick respond, and Jeno looked down pointedly at his crotch as it rubbed against Jeno's thigh and Jaemin whimpered softly.

There was a shadow of something in his eyes, passing fleetingly, that made Jaemin wonder if Jeno himself felt that he had ruined Jaemin, and was apologetic for it.

But Jaemin figured that hell, it was scarcely any difference being turned on by his friends making out and watching adult videos of strangers. After all, they had gained enough pleasure at his expense in the last few months. He didn't see any harm in him enjoying the sight of one hot guy blowing another.

But he didn't get to finish the show, because Jeno managed to draw his attention away with just one single line:

"I have something to tell you."

With equal parts trepidation and anticipation, Jaemin followed Jeno with a pounding heart as they snuck out of the classroom, leaving the two other boys unaware and immersed in each other. Jaemin didn't even care about the spectacular show he was missing. Jeno was that important: he was worth missing any show for; he was the sole reason why Jaemin was even here in the first place.

He thought about the words that had been bubbling on his tongue ever since the first day he saw Jeno at archery club, in the first week of freshman year. Unlike his tender yet somber expression now, then, Jeno had been smiling.

He had just hit bull's eye with his arrow, his form graceful and stunning. Everyone was cheering with respect and admiration, and the grin of unfiltered glee made something in Jaemin's heart loosen, and start falling.

Jaemin stopped in the middle of the hallway Jeno was dragging him impatiently down, their entwined hands making Jeno stumble to a halt too. But he didn't let go of Jaemin's hand.

"What is it, Jaemin-ah?" He peered into Jaemin's face, and Jaemin thought he saw something like concern. He liked to flatter himself into thinking that after daily interaction for months, he was learning to read Jeno's minuscule shifts of expression a little better.

”Sunbae, I..." Jaemin swallowed, then took a deep breath and said with raw honesty, "I like you. I want to make you smile.”

The surprise on Jeno's face was the second most beautiful thing Jaemin had ever seen, next to his carefree smile.

"Jaemin..." Jeno said, voice sounding thicker when he spoke again. His eyes were an entrancing dark, like vortexes or whirlpools. He took a breath too, like Jaemin made him just as nervous as he made Jaemin.

"I'm not good at this... relationships thing," Jeno said with a wry, self-deprecating smile. He looked at his shoes as Jaemin felt his stomach plunge down to his own.

"But..." Jeno looked up, and his eyes were shy, hopeful. Warm.

"You make me want to try. You make me... _want_.”

The end-of-recess bell rang just as Jeno touched chaste lips to Jaemin's, the kiss this time the slightest, most hesitant pressure.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" Jaemin gasped in delight as they broke apart with racing hearts.

Jeno smiled, looking pleased. He really did have a smile that could end cities. "Yes... But without Renjun and Donghyuck."

"Alone," Jeno bent to whisper beside his ear, and Jaemin was going crazy but it sounded _exactly_ like a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for taking the time to read till the end! if you had fun, do drop me kudos and maybe a comment if u have time uwu
> 
> also bc i wrote this 4 yrs ago it never occurred to me to add on to this but now i feel like the ending is just begging at least a little epilogue abt jeno’s commitment phobia and how TOUCH-STARVED he prob is?? lmk if u’d like to read that or any other ideas u may want me to include in this possible epilogue and i’ll write it if i can haha,, ofc update on renhyuck’s getting tgt will not be forgotten as this was supposed to be an ot4 fic… keyword being supposed lmao. i love 00line sm ;; and i love my nomin readers more
> 
> [if you enjoy polyamory, i have a nominle threesome fic titled strange and special which is also the only other polyamorous fic i’ve written, the vibes are pretty similar to this]


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I posted this fic the first time back in august I was telling starwreck how the vibes were majorly shoujo manga inspired, namely the tropes about hot archery club senpais if u know what I mean lol. I wanted to self-indulgently write more of that setting here but didn’t get as much opportunity as I wanted, tho I still hope it gives you those fluffy anime first love vibes, and ofc there’s more p*rn coming up as their relationship needs to be consummated! lol
> 
> what is in my outline for this ‘epilogue’ which actually turned into more of a sequel bc im rambly af, is two smut scenes as they build up to arriving at having actual sex, one scene of renhyuck’s relationship update, and a heartwarming ending with the 4 of them [not having sex, just discussing the future lmao] and so it turned out to be more than 1 chapter?? im sorry anyway the next, final chap will prob be done tomorrow and posted right away
> 
> Also I started using single quote marks for dialogue a while ago and have already gotten too used to it to switch back to double so sorry if the change is jarring owo

When Jaemin found out there was no deeper reason Jeno wasn’t comfortable with direct sex and being touched; that it was a phobia he saw as senseless and craved to overcome as well, pure relief flooded through him.

‘I guess I just hadn’t found anybody worth putting in the effort to change for, before,’ his brand new boyfriend said in his quiet voice, the voice that always made Jaemin unconsciously strain forward to listen. ‘But _you_ …’ Jeno didn’t finish his sentence, but the yearning emotion and desire, burning dark in his eyes dried any words in Jaemin’s throat.

Jeno lowered his long lashes over those eyes. He looked so soft and malleable. ‘I know you want… _more_.’

‘Of course I want more!’ Jaemin burst out, tone strangled. ‘Have you even _seen_ yourself?’

The gut-punching eye smile Jeno broke into in surprised amusement made Jaemin curse darkly under his breath. Sometimes Jeno was the dominant who demanded complete obedience and submission, and others he turned into one of those harmless huge, gentle dogs.

Jaemin, with his natural empathy, couldn’t help wondering if his lover was as touch-starved, contact-hungry as he felt. He decided that Jeno had to be even more so, since after all Jaemin had been getting really good sex with more than one partner in the past months while Jeno only had his hand for company.

Now, Jaemin felt kind of relieved that he hadn’t had to watch Jeno having sex with their two fuck buddies though. Even just imagining it made him green with jealousy.

‘Hyung.’ He licked his lips the day the question occurred to him, chest suddenly tight. Jeno looked over at him.

‘Yeah?’

Jaemin’s head was light. ‘Have you… ever had sex with anyone?’

It literally never struck him to ask or wonder before, with how experienced Jeno appeared. But now, Jaemin’s stomach dropped to his knees as Jeno’s adam’s apple bobbed in a dry swallow and he shook his head, lowering his eyes shyly.

‘Holy fuck.’ Jaemin’s palms got clammy. No wonder Jeno had gotten so uptight over his losing his virginity to someone else. How badly must he have wished to be the one laying his hands on Jaemin that first time…?

Jaemin tried his best to hide his excitement. The last thing he wanted was to pressure Jeno. Even though they’d talked it over seriously at length and Jeno clearly expressed his own frustration at the mental blockage and desire to overcome it, Jaemin was determined to take it slow and not hurt him.

He counted his blessings every day. In the mornings when he woke up and remembered and disbelieving happiness washed over him in a tidal wave. Jeno was his now. Jeno belonged to _him_.

Furthermore, Jaemin had the best boyfriend in the world.

Nobody had been so willing to change themselves for Jaemin’s sake before. To go so far beyond their comfort zone. This was his first time in life, receiving such unconditional love.

They had worked out a game plan together. How they would, slowly but surely, experiment with more touching and physical contact until Jeno arrived at a place where he felt comfortable having oral, then possibly anal sex.

Of course Jaemin couldn’t wait. He was a seventeen-year-old boy.

But if Jeno wasn’t worth waiting for—then who was?

Many things were still off-limits. But they’d started with Jaemin jerking off in front of Jeno, which was fine. Nothing he hadn’t seen before. Jaemin was pleased to view the tent of obvious arousal straining the crotch of Jeno’s sweats when he was done, his flushed cheekbones under glassy eyes. He hoped next time his boyfriend would feel comfortable enough to whip out his dick and join him, even if they didn’t touch.

Knowing Jeno’s oral fixation, that was the next step in Jaemin’s plan of action. They were in Jeno’s bedroom sitting cross-legged on his bed when Jaemin extended his fingers with mild awkwardness, for Jeno to take into his mouth.

Jeno sucked on three fingers experimentally after they slipped past his lips. Jaemin felt his tongue and the wet heat of his mouth in the blood of his body rushing south.

He cleared his throat and tried to focus on the task instead of his raging sex drive. ‘Okay?’ he checked in a gentle tone, eyes searching his boyfriend’s. He nodded quietly.

This second level seemed to be going swimmingly, besides Jaemin not having predicted how distracting his semi-erection would be. He shifted in his sitting position as Jeno teased his tongue around the digits, attempting to hide the bulge in his uniform pants beneath his untucked shirttails. Opposite him, Jeno was in his gym shirt and basketball shorts because they’d just come from archery practice.

Unexpectedly, Jeno was the one who shocked them both with the words he said after gently spitting Jaemin’s now saliva-coated fingers out.

‘Can we do step three now?’ His voice was so low Jaemin thought he misheard.

Step three was Jeno finally showing Jaemin his dick, and masturbating in front of him instead of behind a table.

‘O-of course! Whenever you’re comfortable.’

Jeno took a deep, shaking breath. He leaned back and pushed down the waistband of his shorts, shucked the clothing off. A gasp caught in Jaemin’s throat to see his briefs tight around the shape of his erection.

Jeno’s cock sprang free when he lowered that waistband too, already almost fully rigid. He let out a hiss of relief. Jaemin tore his eyes off the organ he was seeing for the first time, unable to believe his luck, forcing them to fix on Jeno’s face. It was so red. Jeno looked so vulnerable and nearly terrified that Jaemin’s heart went out to him.

He felt honoured. So special, knowing he was the first—the only—person to ever see this gorgeous sight. Jeno’s cock was so cute, _perfect_ , like him.

‘You’re big.’ Jaemin heard the lewd words leaving his mouth, and blushed hotly. ‘I-I mean, you’re really turned on.’ He wanted to shrink under the fire of Jeno’s piercing gaze. His own was unable to blink as he watched his lover’s cock seem to swell even more in the loose ring of his hand, flushing harder in his dry grasp. Jaemin’s hands were clenched by his sides as he ached to _touch_.

‘Y-yeah, I didn’t expect to be so turned on. I don’t usually…’

Jaemin’s saucer eyes flickered from Jeno’s pink face to his pink dick. He bit his lip to hold back the groan trembling in his throat as the fingers around Jeno’s cock tightened into a fist and started moving up and down.

‘Wait.’ He frowned, voice raspy. ‘Isn’t that too dry?’

Jeno’s motions stopped, looking sheepish. Without thinking, Jaemin grabbed his hand, fingers barely grazing Jeno’s dick to a hushed gasp, and clumsily spat into it.

Then he burned with mortification because what the fuck did he just do but Jeno’s now lubricated, large hand was wrapped back around his cock and jerking it at a quickening speed.

Jaemin’s heart pounded in his ears; he inhaled sharply through his mouth. Trying to remember himself and what he was supposed to be doing. Jeno’s thighs were thick and strong, skin creamy, his cock looking obscene between them as Jaemin caught flashes of it getting slick with the precum Jeno carelessly dragged down the length with his thumb rubbing the head. His breathing was getting loud and ragged too.

‘You’re doing so well, hyungie,’ Jaemin remembered to choke out. He felt like his soul had left his body, desperately itched to tear off his own pants and join in, but had to coerce himself to remember that this wasn’t about him and he shouldn’t be selfish. He could take care of his own boner later.

His breathy praise made an exhale hitch audibly in Jeno’s throat, more precum pearling at his slit. Jeno made a raw noise at the back of his throat, and Jaemin could hear his orgasm building in it.

He had to be patient. But his fingertips still tingled with the memory of the brush he’d stolen as Jaemin recklessly leaned forward muttering, ‘Let me help you,’ leaned down.

Jeno was so sensitive, so sensual as Jaemin ghosted a careful breath over the head of his cock, the fingers slowing briefly so as not to catch his face by accident. He got so close he could see Jeno’s dick twitch in his grip, glossy and oozing by now. He could smell the sex and musk, hear the soft filthy squelch of sticky fingers tightening and Jaemin salivated. His own erection was porcelain hard by now and he was going to hump Jeno’s pillow while shoving his face into the scent of his bedspread the moment he finished.

He should feel ridiculous, with how desperate he looked, but Jaemin only felt like he was flying. Jeno had made so much incredible progress today. Jaemin still couldn’t believe he was staring at his cock for the first time, his erect cock that was about to erupt and cum in front of his eyes for the first time.

‘Jaemin, I’m sorry—‘ His suspicion of how pathetic he looked was cemented by Jeno’s hoarse and guilty words spilling from his lips, as Jaemin finally pulled himself back and gave Jeno space again after stimulating him, sensing he was on the brink.

’Shh. Stop thinking and cum.’ The order slipped from his own lips naturally.

Jeno’s eyes widened and a sob caught in his throat as relief washed over his face and his fist made a couple of final flicks before white was spurting forward, a few drops landing on Jaemin’s chin and his uniform shirt.

‘Oh god.’ Jeno looked mortified as he panted, letting go of his softening dick. ‘I should’ve warned you.’

‘No, it’s okay!’ Jaemin shook his head, his entire body practically trembling with the shivers coursing his spine as he felt his sensitive cockhead chafe in his boxers, throbbing sorely. He wiped his chin with the back of his hand. The cum was still warm. ‘Hyung… you did it. I’m so proud of you.’ His voice was no less breathless despite not having climaxed yet.

That smile with those beloved eyes disappearing into it was debilitating. Jeno scrambled to cover his lower half with the blanket behind him, adorably shy as though he hadn’t just shown Jaemin everything. Jaemin thought he was going to explode.

After Jaemin had gotten rid of his arousal the way he wanted and changed into one of Jeno’s boxers, which felt oddly as intimate as any touch, Jeno asked abruptly in a pensive tone, ‘You won’t leave me?’

The insecure question made Jaemin look up, startled. His chest panged with frustration that despite his reassurances, Jeno was still pushing himself.

‘I told you to take your time. There’s no rush. I’m... not going anywhere.’

‘You’ll wait.’ A smile had crept onto those kissable lips.

‘Forever,’ Jaemin replied simply, and the smile Jeno broke into was devastating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tysm if u came back to read this continuation,, I hope it didn’t butcher what you enjoyed about the original fic! I had fun writing this lil extension so hopefully it’s fun to read as well. Chapter 4 coming right up~


	4. Chapter 4

They were waiting a few days later at recess in the empty classroom, for their two ex-sex friends. It was hard to suddenly get used to not meeting when it had become a daily routine.

While waiting for the familiar footfalls on the corridor outside, Jeno gazed silently at Jaemin. He was sitting at one of the students’ desks instead of behind the teacher’s table, long legs crossed languidly. He had been pliant and soft since after their sexual activities that day, wearing a perpetual dopey grin.

When Jaemin couldn’t resist closing the distance between them and sitting down in his lap, cautiously, he heard a faint gasp—not from his weight, but the contact. He turned to see a pained expression on his boyfriend’s face. But when Jaemin tried to stand back up, Jeno didnt allow him to, arms slipping around his waist and tightening over his crotch through his pants. Jaemin gasped too and unthinkingly slid another chaste touch down Jeno’s chest, groping his pecs a little.

He reluctantly scrambled off when the other two arrived. ‘Injun hyung!’ he greeted, so happy to see his second favourite upperclassman, but hastily altered it to ‘… sunbae.’ when Jeno bristled. He’d told Jaemin plainly that he didn’t like him calling any other guy hyung.

Renjun smiled and ruffled Jaemin’s hair. Even now, these three hyungs still made him feel at ease, taken care of like no one else. For obvious reasons, they had become the people he felt closest to in school.

Donghyuck showed Jaemin the duck design jewel art he said Renjun had painstakingly helped him affix to his phone cover.

‘Stop showing off,’ Renjun grumbled, ears turning pink, and Donghyuck saluted him. ‘Yes, sir.’

Jaemin gaped at them, something about his tone suspicious. ‘Wait, did you mean like yes, sir or yes, _Sir_?’

Donghyuck smirked. ‘What do you think?’

From behind him, Jeno clicked his tongue to make his irritation known.

‘C’mon, kink exploration is fun! We’ll be trying little space next.’

Renjun sniggered and stage-whispered to Jaemin, jerking his chin in Jeno’s direction, ‘Look at him pretending not to be the kinkiest bastard here.’ He received a glare.

‘Our pretty Nana,’ Renjun nearly purred, ‘Wanna come to hyung’s house to play sometime? We have lots of cool toys.’ He wiggled his brows.

Jaemin realised this was probably his roundabout way of expressing they missed him, but before he could answer Jeno did it for him.

‘I’m the only one allowed to call him that. Don’t even _look_ at him, pervert.’

Renjun flipped his hair sassily. ‘Ooh, someone’s bossy. You don’t even call Jaemin that. And don’t tell me what to do; you’re not our dom anymore.’

Jeno’s face fell, and Jaemin felt bad for him. With his natural alpha-type personality, he sensed his lover needed someone who would submit to him, at least on occasion.

‘You can dominate me!’

Jeno gave him a look. ‘I don’t want to dominate anybody.’ Okay, maybe he’d guessed wrong. Donghyuck muffled a chuckle.

Jeno continued, gazing back at Renjun, ‘I can still beat you to a pulp though.’

Renjun stuck out his tongue. ‘Yeah, well, you’ll have to go through my bodyguard first.’ Donghyuck smirked again and slapped his ass. They were starting to look like the grossest gay couple who ever walked the earth.

Not seeming to know where to stop, Renjun went on in a drawl, ‘It’s not like I haven’t already seen and touched everything there is to anyway.’ He ran his eyes down Jaemin’s body, making it clear what he meant.

‘ _You—‘_

 _Stop goading him_ , Jaemin mouthed at them as he hauled an aggravated Jeno out of the classroom. The moment they were on the corridor the tables were turned and Jaemin was the one being overpowered and dragged away. Jaemin tried to contain his laughter at how Renjun had licked up his middle finger irreverently as they left, Donghyuck merely shaking his head and grinning as he stared at his boyfriend with shameless worship.

He knew Jeno felt insecure that Renjun was the person who had taken Jaemin’s virginity. And that up till now, he was still unable to do to Jaemin whatever he wished to do to him. So Jaemin understood that Jeno didn’t mean to be overbearing. Their friends didn’t have any ill intentions, but he wasn’t aware how much they knew about Jeno’s problem.

It was a little more than a week later, after archery practice. Jaemin had been assigned the duty to return all the equipment to the sports storage room, and Jeno walked over quietly despite not having interacted with him during practice—to keep things on the down low, all four of them were already used to not acknowledging each other when not in private—and helped Jaemin carry the heavier stuff.

Jeno didn’t say anything until they were in the dim, shadowy room. Shafts of weak sunlight from a small window near the ceiling caught the dust motes hovering in the air. Before Jaemin could start a conversation, Jeno closed the door and locked it.

‘Hyung?’ Jaemin’s pulse was suddenly racing. He licked his chapped lips nervously. Jeno was dressed in a tracksuit anyone else might have looked less drop-dead gorgeous in.

‘Jaemin…’ Jeno cleared his hoarse throat. ‘I’m trying.’

Jaemin was confused, blinking as Jeno wet his lips too. ‘I know you are.’ He took a solicitous step forward. ‘I told you to take all the time you need,’ he added.

Jeno closed his eyes, then opened them again. He drew a breath. ‘What I’m trying to say is... I’m ready.’ His eyes glittered in the low light, tentative but hopeful and exhilarated.

Jaemin’s vocal chords seemed to block up his throat. Jeno misinterpreted his silence, bulldozing on earnestly, ‘I want to please you. Wanna make you cum and scream my name.’

‘Here?’ A flustered giggle whooshed out of Jaemin, because holy hell.

Jeno’s lips tugged up, and Jaemin’s chest tightened. ‘Well, maybe not that last bit.’

He was already used to semi-public sex by now. Comfortable with it, even if he still enjoyed privacy better. There was an illicit, clandestine thrill of doing something taboo, in the sacred space of the sports supplies room with their bows and arrows and the basketball team’s stuff, after all their club-mates had gone home. The school compound at this hour was near deserted, the late afternoon sleepy.

Jaemin took Jeno’s hand and held it for a few moments, like it was something precious—which it was. This was something Jeno had been perfectly at ease with for some time now. The way he unfailingly reacted at every new touch they tried out, with glowing eyes and an unmistakably relieved sigh, told Jaemin clearer than anything that Jeno _wanted_ this. He really did.

Jeno had planned to surprise Jaemin with a blowjob, but Jaemin insisted their first time should be the other way around. Jeno was losing his virginity. He had to make this special.

Jeno argued, but gave in eventually as Jaemin expected. When would Lee Jeno ever be able to refuse him? Besides, Jaemin had developed a taste for kneeling on the ground with a cock filling his mouth, so full he could neither speak nor think.

Jeno tugged his track bottoms down together with his underwear. Jaemin reached down to fondle his still flaccid cock, loving the initial stirrings of arousal as the cock responded in his fingers.

He sank to his knees in one expert move when Jeno’s cock had risen a little with interest. Jeno seemed to be content to let him take charge, patient as Jaemin feasted his eyes. It was still a novelty seeing this and now Jeno was saying he could have it all. He was too spoilt, really.

Jaemin kissed the crown of Jeno’s cock and it jumped between his fingers, thickening as it filled out. He started licking, slow kitten licks.

When he pressed his tongue into the slit, a hand closed into the hair at the top of his scalp. His hair slipped through Jeno’s fingers as he found purchase.

Jaemin smirked and tongued a stripe up the underside of Jeno’s cock. He stroked his balls too, without much finesse.

‘God—fuck… Guh,’ Jeno gritted out, or something like that. Jaemin looked up innocently through his lashes, shuddering to see the eyes smouldering down at him. Jeno’s cock was fully erect now; it brushed his jaw.

‘Is it okay, hyung?’ Besides being a tease, he also wanted to check he was alright.

Jeno’s voice quavered as his fingers twisted in Jaemin’s hair, a mute plea not to stop. ’It’s… so different from doing it myself. So much better than I imagined.’

Jaemin adored how responsive and honest Jeno’s body was, just like his heart. It made him want to give more. To give all of himself.

‘We can stop anytime,’ he reminded gently. Wondering if they needed a safeword or something. But Jeno’s bass was resolute above him as he replied.

‘I know. Wanna go all the way.’

And how was Jaemin going to deny him a second longer when he sounded so needy like that?

The cock in his grip throbbed urgently, steel encased in velvet. Jaemin finally, finally opened his mouth and took it in, slow and serious.

Jeno’s dick filled up his entire oral cavity. Jaemin sighed at the familiar sensation which was at the same time brand new. His heart thudded in his ears and his head swam. He sheathed his teeth as best he could when scraping them slightly drew a surprised hiss. Donghyuck and Renjun might be envious to know that Jaemin was being much gentler with Jeno than he’d been with them, obviously.

Jeno’s cock pulsed as his hips juddered with the effort of not thrusting. Jaemin had his fingers pressed into his hipbones, anchoring him. He let it sit on his tongue for a moment, heavy and tasting even better than the hundreds of times he’d daydreamed about this. Saliva pooled around the length.

Not to brag or anything, but he was pretty much a pro from the number of people he’d blown by now. He laved his tongue around his boyfriend and took note of his responses, what he liked.

Lips latched around his boyfriend’s pretty cock, he moved up and down the length twice. He swallowed a little of the spit gathering and a choked noise came from above. The fingers threaded in his hair tugged gently so Jaemin pulled off the cock with difficulty.

Jeno’s cock was slick with the fluids of his saliva and precum he was already leaking. He struggled to regulate his breathing as he held his own cock by the base, then wrapped his hand around it and jerked a few times with a groan.

‘Can I fuck your mouth?’

The bold question caught Jaemin in the gut. His hard-on which had made itself known for some time reminded him of its presence as it strained in his briefs and baggy gym shorts. He took the chance to reach down and squeeze but this only made things worse.

‘Y-you can do anything you like.’

The sharp intake of breath over his head made it spin. Jaemin opened his mouth readily, and Jeno didn’t immediately enter it but nudged his fat cockhead against Jaemin’s cheek, smearing precum onto his skin, his upper lip, and then he was pushing into the circle of Jaemin’s mouth, taking his breath away.

Jeno went deeper until he almost hit the back of Jaemin’s throat, then pulled out shallowly and thrust back in again. Jaemin had thought he was in control, but Jeno was once more asserting his dominion over him effortlessly and without ceremony. He was glad he was already on his knees, because if not he wouldn’t be able to stay upright anyway. The submission he gave up was something that had no need to be spelled out. It was the most natural thing in the world.

As he tried to keep up with the punishing pace set, they both got close. Drool leaked from the corners and down his chin. Slick squelching and slapping sounds that were mortifying filled the silence between them.

‘Such a messy boy,’ Jeno taunted, low voice scraped raw. His hand was still curled in Jaemin’s hair, holding him where he wanted. Jaemin’s mouth plugged, gagged by his girth, unable to retaliate even if he wished to.

‘That’s right. Take it,’ he heard Jeno continue to pant as he fucked in and out of Jaemin’s abused mouth, grinding his hips forward on a particularly deep thrust Jaemin almost choked on.

Without warning, Jeno’s thighs trembled and a shudder rocked his body. Jaemin didn’t even realise he’d started to cum until he was emptying himself into the back of his mouth, coming hard and fast against his throat. Jaemin swallowed shallowly on reflex, making his throat tighten over the sensitive head as the last of Jeno’s release trickled out, and his boyfriend groaned.

Jeno pulled out, gasping, and fumbled to drag his pants up. A trembling hand extended in front of Jaemin’s face and he reached out to grip it, felt Jeno’s strong arm coming up around the small of his back as his knees wobbled.

Jeno was gazing at him with open and unconcealed amazement, like that very first day after Jaemin blew Renjun.

‘Swallow it.’ He heard the same words he did back then.

Once more, Jaemin obeyed.

They slid down the door and slumped into sitting positions on the ground, both their breathing overlapping as they spiralled down from their highs. Apparently Jeno was more shaken than he showed too. Jaemin felt warm pride swell his ego a size bigger that he’d managed to wreck him like this.

As if they were telepathic, Jeno’s next words made him jump. ‘Your lips are wrecked.’

An ugly blush bloomed on Jaemin’s cheeks. His mouth burned, feeling used in the most delicious way. This was nothing, _nothing_ like the rest of the blow jobs he’d given. He literally never knew it could be this mind-blowing, and he wasn’t even the one being sucked. He had half a mind to demand his turn now, except he’d already…

Jaemin shifted uncomfortably, heating up more at the sensation of stickiness in his pants.

A nervous expression had appeared on Jeno’s face, like he was receiving the results of his college entrance examinations.

’So… how was it? Did I… please you?’ He looked so bashful and boyish that Jaemin’s heart fluttered like a girl’s.

He leaned against the broad chest behind him, cuddling closer. A gentle arm wrapped around his shoulder and tightened. Jaemin brought Jeno’s hand to rest over his crotch.

‘Oh my god, I totally forgot about you.’ Jeno misunderstood his meaning. His contrite look made Jaemin laugh.

‘No, no.’ He lifted the hem of his shorts so Jeno could slip his hand in. He gasped when he groped Jaemin’s cock through his underwear and felt the dampness starting to seep through.

‘I came at the same time as you,’ Jaemin shyly mumbled. ‘Untouched.’ The word made the hand that was still in his shorts shiver. Jaemin carefully removed it because it wouldn’t be good if he got turned on again.

‘Felt it? You did that.’ He turned to beam a quiet smile up.

A pleased grin was slipping across Jeno’s face, his eyes dazed and soft with pleasant shock. ‘Oh.’

‘I wonder if Renjun and Donghyuck still go back to that classroom… or mess around in school,’ Jaemin mused as they were heading home together.

Jeno glanced over. ‘You miss them, don’t you?’

Jaemin shrugged. ‘Not really.’

‘Liar.’ Jeno smirked, knowing him better than even himself. The two older boys were in the same class as him, so he saw them every day while Jaemin only had contact by messaging app.

‘If you’re free tomorrow, I’ll ask them to be there. Same time?’

Jaemin nodded ecstatically, already anticipating it.

Jeno smiled at his excitement. ‘Just don’t let those horndogs see this, brat.’ He touched the corner of Jaemin’s sore lips, with a tender thumb, muttering softer, ’They’ll never let me live it down.’

But the next day when Jaemin arrived at their empty classroom, he found only Jeno waiting alone.

’Sorry,’ he apologised, hanging his head, ‘I forgot to tell them. They’ll definitely be here tomorrow.’

Jaemin laughed and punched his shoulder. ’It’s cool, let’s just have a date today then.’

Jeno stood up and without warning lifted him off his feet with his hands under Jaemin’s arms. He deposited him to sit on a desk and crowded between his legs. They stared into each other’s eyes.

‘Jaemin-ah,’ Jeno murmured solemnly, ’Thanks for helping me overcome my fears.’ He hesitated. ‘For liking me.’

The besotted look in his eyes as they focused on Jaemin, as if nothing else existed, made his stomach do backflips.

‘Jeno hyung…’ He couldn’t resist caressing his face with a hand. Jeno leaned into his touch, lashes lowering. Jaemin felt so adoring he might burst. It was the most meaningful thing in the world that he could have helped the person he loved overcome his barrier. All Jaemin’d ever wanted was for Jeno to be happy, after all.

‘Does that mean you don’t mind having an open relationship?’ he teased, half-joking when Jeno looked around the classroom and asked if he missed their sessions.

‘If that’s what you want,’ came the answer after serious consideration. ‘Is it?’ Jeno tilted his head to regard Jaemin.

Something shifted in Jaemin’s chest, then. Jeno hadn’t even thought about himself and his own preferences before replying, only Jaemin’s happiness. He felt loved.

Theirs was a relationship no outsider would understand. The four of them had shared not only their bodies but also hearts with one another, with an intimacy that couldn’t be erased. Within these walls, they were like exclusive members of a secret society.

The second years would be entering their third year soon and Jaemin would become a sophomore. Even in the far future, after he graduated, he knew they would be the first thing he remembered when he thought of high school. The knowledge was warm.

When he answered, ‘I’ll think about it,’ Jeno grinned and nodded. For the first time, he kissed Jaemin without hesitation. Jeno, who didn’t commit to anybody, but had committed to Jaemin.

The bell was going to ring soon when they heard an unmistakable pair of footsteps, coming nearer on the corridor outside. Jaemin met Jeno’s wide eyes.

‘I swear I didn’t tell them.’

‘You guys…?’ Renjun opened the door they hadn’t locked today, looking stricken for some reason. Donghyuck breathlessly fell in behind him.

They all stared at one another for a few seconds. Then Renjun blinked, emotional. ‘You were thinking about us too?’

Before Jaemin could respond, Jeno nodded beside him.

Donghyuck and Renjun dissolved into their sunny smiles, and hurried in. Recess would end in five minutes, but for now they were golden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for taking the time to read till the end! if you had fun, do drop me a kudos, and i really appreciate the readers who have shown love to this humble fic thus far :3 i had a good time revisiting this au and the backstory i had for it in my mind and im just so thankful i got an opportunity I never expected after years, to explore this verse a bit more.
> 
> also, i hope the smut wasn’t disgusting or cringe lol. i think this isnt something a lot of readers know, but writing smut is something pretty vulnerable and challenging for most writers as it usually exposes more of ourselves than writing any other genre. so yes, if u enjoy any smut fics in general, do try and show your support and encouragement as the writer may feel self conscious as i used to haha


	5. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaemin is Jeno's (guardian) angel and Jeno is Jaemin's mortal. (And Renjun is Donghyuck's angel.) (side story)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This epilogue is actually an unrelated side story! This chapter is a short oneshot [about 4300 words long] and I decided to post it as a bonus side story to this fic bc the relationships premise is very similar - the pairings are nomin and renhyuck but it’s also very much an ot4 fic [though this time it’s not polyamory]. It’s a really special bunch of relationships btw the 4 of them and its hard to explain but I really think you’ll enjoy this short and sweet oneshot if you give it a chance, especially if you liked ‘recess’ and wanted to read more ot4 cuteness :) fair warning that there’s no smut in this though lol.
> 
> It’s a rework of my 2016 got7 oneshot eyrie; skylight and previously I reworked it once for johnmark but it was the one rare fic I felt suited two reworks and so I decided to go ahead and do the 00z version I wanted to as well. If you’ve somehow already read the johnmark, pls just move on and be kind about it, I’m sure 99% of people who see this haven’t read it anyway :3
> 
> Do note before reading that there are brief mentions of death in this due to the guardian angel aspect. Otherwise it’s a p soft and cute getting together fic which I think will bring you reading pleasure!

”Who are you?" was the first question Jaemin croaked out when he blinked open his eyes to see an ethereal, dewdrop-shape-eyed boy haloed by pristine, blinding white light.

"Renjun," had been the serene reply in a hypnotically deep voice.

"Where am I?" Jaemin groggily demanded next, looking around him in a bewildered daze as he took in a room whose walls seemed to be entirely constructed of clouds.

"Dead," came the equally calm answer.

*

It had taken hours for the horrified shrieking to make his voice go hoarse, then disappear; days for the unstoppable keening from his agonized lips to subside. The details were boring, typical. He acted just like any other human being would act in the situation — unable to accept, to believe he was dead.

In the end, like everyone else — like Renjun himself — he had no choice.

He was lucky, he knew, in some twisted way, that Renjun was there when he opened his eyes like a newborn chick; in those first terrifying and nightmarish days when he had no idea how he had gotten to this impossible place; how he died.

Renjun had been alone when he went through it, and though he didn't say anything about his experience Jaemin could tell from the way he shuddered that it hadn't been pretty.

Still, there were some things neither of them knew yet.

Like how he died, for example. His mind was a frustrating, painful blank when he tried to rack his brains for his final moments on earth.

And where they were.

And what they were doing there; how long they would be there; or what they had to do.

He was just relieved when he opened his eyes daily, his held breath only resuming when he saw Renjun slumbering peacefully on a fluffy cloud mattress next to him, sweet face naturally angelic in repose.

Renjun who walked him through the steps, talked him soothingly and kindly back into a semblance of sanity for those first few nerve-wracking days. Who had, with his trademark unshakable simplicity, placed his hands on Jaemin's shaking shoulders and asked him to stop wailing and look into his eyes, for a moment.

Jaemin obeyed, falling silent, opening his eyes wide and gazing straight into Renjun's crystalline, honest ones. They were like transparent mirrors, like the surface of a clear, ripple-less lake, and in them Jaemin saw himself. He gasped to see himself completely different from how he remembered his appearance, transformed almost unrecognizably into a vision of pure white like Renjun.

Needless to say, he looked far, far more angelic than he felt.

*

Slowly and patiently, Renjun taught him everything he knew about this place and their existence, imparting all his knowledge to Jaemin without holding back. He nurtured Jaemin like his own hyung, even though Jaemin felt a fierce protective urge for fragile, susceptible Renjun.

It was only fitting that Renjun's mortal was as unearthly beautiful as him, Jaemin thought. The concept of mortals was introduced to him by Renjun in his second week in this — cloud-castle.

He had instructed Jaemin to peer through an opening he hadn't noticed on the floor of the cloud, which they were able to stand on (it felt like walking on eiderdown, weightless and untethered), prising the small hole further apart with his bare hands to allow Jaemin a clearer view.

Jaemin watched in hushed, spellbound silence — although he didn't need to be quiet, because humans couldn't hear them — the boy who Renjun told him softly was his mortal.

His name was Donghyuck, and he was Korean-American. Renjun reluctantly admitted that even after his months (a guesstimate, they had no real way of keeping track of the passage of time) in this simulacrum of heaven, he had no idea why Donghyuck had been assigned to him as his mortal. He merely found the hole at the bottom of the cloud one day by chance, and started spending more and more time as if by an invisible magnetic attraction watching the young man named Donghyuck and the events and going-ons of his banal, human life on earth. Simply because he had nothing else to do.

The rest, he had deduced. Jaemin was starting to learn that Renjun was extraordinarily intelligent, and grudgingly admitted to himself that he was lucky to be trapped with him here, in this cell high up in the sky, where only blue stretched out as far as the eye could see.

Renjun shared with him, eyes glinting with an almost human excitement that most people got when they acquired an amazing ability, or a marvellous secret, that he could control some of the things that happened to Donghyuck.

To be more precise, he could shield Donghyuck from some things, protect him when he sensed danger approaching. Many times, he bragged to Jaemin with a proud smile, he had saved Donghyuck's life, like a knight in shining armour.

A pity, he murmured in a smaller voice, his expressive face promptly falling, that Donghyuck would probably never know who he was, or that he existed in this world.

After all, he didn't exist in Donghyuck's world anymore. Neither of them did.

*

When Jaemin enquired politely and respectfully if Renjun ever met Donghyuck in his human life, Renjun frowned in a way that made it obvious he had pondered this exact question for long hours himself.

"No," he said quietly, with a melancholy shake of his head. "At least, I don't remember. But I feel like if I had, I would."

"Don't you think so?" he raised his head and met Jaemin's eyes, hopefully.

Jaemin nodded earnestly. It wasn't so much that Donghyuck was the kind of gorgeous most people would find hard to forget. It was something deeper, more mysterious, a kind of bond he could sense between Donghyuck and Renjun, even though Renjun never verbally expressed or alluded to it. It was so strong and transcendent, he could physically feel it from the quiet fondness and affection with which Renjun gazed at Donghyuck, never growing bored or impatient even for hours on end; the way his eyes grew starry and clouded with sadness as he longingly watched Donghyuck do stupid and very human things and Jaemin could see how much he wished he was back in the mortal world, doing them with him.

Thus, it was an unsolvable mystery why Renjun had been "assigned" Donghyuck (and by who, for that matter). And what Renjun was supposed to do for him, for how long. But all Jaemin knew with crystal clarity was that if Renjun never passed away, he would never have met Donghyuck or knew of his existence. They lived in two different countries; their paths never destined to cross.

And he found his eyes blurring when Renjun confided in him, voice broken like glass shards, that sometimes, just sometimes, he even felt happy he died — simply because it led him to meet Donghyuck. That meeting Donghyuck made it all worth it.

It was crazy, senseless. But love was. And Renjun loved Donghyuck with everything he had in him.

*

Sometime along the way, as the weeks slipped past in a hazy blur, then months, Jaemin started feeling jealous.

He envied the incandescent glow of Renjun's eyes, singlehandedly illuminating the night sky like little tea lights as he sighed contentedly watching Donghyuck smile in his sleep, lying awake late into their own night. He was indescribably and absurdly jealous of how unbelievably, miraculously, Renjun had managed to find happiness in this ivory tower in the sky they were both trapped in, without any rhyme or reason or purpose.

Renjun had found his purpose. And Jaemin was growing more and more impatient to find his own.

They didn't have jobs or school here, high up in the sky, above the airplanes and stars and even the sun. All he had was Renjun's company, which was pitiably meager since he spent most of his time gazing out of his cloud window, till his back ached and his joints protested but he still didn't budge. All they had was time, vast expanses of it, abundant beyond measure.

They didn't have anything to amuse themselves with, no computers or TVs or music or books. Only the sound of each other's voices, and the cacophony of their thoughts, seeking direction and enlightenment.

It was enough boredom to drive one to distraction. So naturally, Jaemin spent a big part of his day crawling around the floor of their immense cloud raft, searching tirelessly for his own hole in the ground. The texture of the cloud was so fluffy that he sank down to his elbow and thigh-level every time he inched forward on his hands and knees, but he never gave up.

Even if he was unable to remember the reason for his death, he was determined to search for the reason for his afterlife.

Donghyuck grew a year older, then two. Renjun remained nineteen. Eternally nineteen.

And Jaemin stayed twenty-one.

When Donghyuck was the same age as him, Jaemin finally found his mortal.

*

He had stumbled across the slight spiderweb crack in the cloud floor, unnoticeable by eyes any less sharper and desperate than Jaemin's. His heart missed a lurching beat initially, then sank in disappointment. At first, he thought he had found his window. But when he saw Donghyuck entering the scene from the right, he realised that it was probably another glimpse of Renjun's mortal's world.

Renjun hadn't mentioned to him more than one window, and had spent the last two years glued to the only one Jaemin knew of, but he must have forgotten to bring up this information.

Jaemin slumped down in defeat, lying with his face pressed to the hole like a child against a shop window, when his heart stopped the second time.

Because Donghyuck was still in the scene, which he had realised looked like an empty lecture hall in a university, students filtering out after class. It was the university Donghyuck entered at the beginning of the year, and Jaemin had heard Renjun wax lyrical with maternal pride about countless times.

But this time, Jaemin's eyes were irresistibly drawn by a boy sitting next to him — a boy Jaemin couldn't remember ever seeing before in his mortal life but who looked hauntingly, heart-stoppingly familiar.

"Renjun.” His voice came out as a harsh cry, jagged and breathless.

In an instant, Renjun was by his side, his body pressing without human temperature or heat against Jaemin's side, his face glued to the small hole Jaemin had prised open with shaking but careful hands till it was almost the size of Renjun's.

"Oh my god," Renjun breathed. He never swore casually, because they were in too precarious a position to take God's name in vain, but Jaemin could tell he was truly shocked and excited for him.

"Is that him?" Renjun whispered, echoing the thoughts racing through his mind he was unable to vocalize, in case this would all shatter like bubbles of sea foam, like a mirage in the desert or vapour trails in the sky.

But Renjun pointed with a steady and overjoyed finger out of the hole, his arm immediately turning the silvery translucent any part of their body did if they tried sticking it out. It was an effect eerie enough to prevent them from venturing further or trying to throw themselves off the edges of the cloud in the past two years. Besides, now that they had each other, as Renjun said grimly, they weren't going anywhere till they found out what was going on.

Jaemin didn't realise tears were running down his cheeks until Renjun turned to him, eyes softening instantly, and reached a gentle thumb to wipe them away. He didn't even know he was still able to cry, but the reason he hadn't felt them flowing down his cheeks was that he no longer had any sensations, whether of dampness or warmth.

But apparently, he still had the ability to feel sadness.

Honestly, sometimes it felt like the only sensation he was able to feel in this cut-off, detached otherworld.

*

”Nana,” Renjun sobbed with emotion, hugging him. "Congratulations."

He was lucky, Jaemin thought with a lump in his throat as he continued peering through the hole like an addict all night, and the next day too, his hands growing numb from stretching it as far as it could go but his lifeless heart steadily seeming to expand and grow infinitesimally warmer — so lucky he had Renjun by his side in this lonely fortress, reminding Jaemin of what it felt like so very long ago now, to be human.

*

It didn't take Jaemin long to satisfy his avid and ravenous curiosity. The boy's — his mortal's — name was Jeno. Jeno Lee, one of Donghyuck's new classmates in his major at university.

Jeno was perfect. He was everything Jaemin had dreamed of in a mortal, and more.

It seemed like such an ironic twist of fate that Renjun and Jaemin's mortals ended up meeting each other, but neither of them felt genuinely surprised. It felt like happenstance, like serendipity, that somehow their invisible but strong bond above had led their mortals, as if by the red string of fate, to encounter and befriend each other, providing each other the strength Jaemin and Renjun couldn't provide them visibly and physically.

Jaemin knew Renjun wished as fervently and heartily as himself that Donghyuck and Jeno would grow as close as the two of them were, and watched their blossoming friendship like proud parents surveying their children forging best friendships at preschool.

But most of the time, Jaemin still found himself spending most of his time privately, just whiling away the hours watching Jeno working at some mundane task like using the internet or taking the subway to and from school, slacking off in class and goofing off after. Eating, sleeping and jerking off. Dreaming and smiling and laughing — and sometimes, very rarely (thankfully because these always felt like daggers piercing Jaemin's ribs) crying, alone or feeling tired.

At these times, all Jaemin wished was to magically transform himself into a wave of energy that could sweep over Jeno, bringing him back to life, to his usual carefree and lively self that was Jaemin's only source of laughter up here. But no matter how many ways he could turn himself into energy for fleeting instants to inspire Jeno, this was something he was frustratingly unable to do. All he wanted was to let Jeno know that no matter how alone he felt, he was never alone. Ever. Because Jaemin was always watching him from above, all-seeing, all-forgiving and all-encompassing.

It sounded creepy, being watched like that, but Jaemin had the inexplicable feeling Jeno wouldn't mind. He let his mind wonder occasionally, to the what-ifs and maybes, fantasies and illusions. What if he had met Jeno in the mortal world, before he passed on? Would Jeno have liked him, as much as Jaemin liked him? Would they have become friends?

Would he have found Jaemin as loveable as Jaemin found him?

It was tricky, because it was only when Jaemin found Jeno that he realised that their kind of love — Renjun's and Jaemin's — was slightly different from romantic love. It was something beyond definition, that rarely existed in the mortal world. It was immortal love, something he only found himself capable of in this afterlife.

Soulmates, Jaemin found himself thinking. It wasn't exactly accurate, mostly because Jeno didn't have a clue of his existence, but it was the closest word to describe the way Jaemin felt for him.

*

Even though he never met Jeno in his life, Jaemin found him unsettlingly and comfortingly familiar at the same time, like a lullaby from childhood he had lost and found again. He swiftly acquired a vast wealth of information about every aspect of Jeno's life and his history from birth till the present, and devoured this knowledge as voraciously as if it were oxygen. He made it his mission to find out everything about Jeno, and found this voyage of discovery fascinating. Thus, knowing Jeno so well, it was effortless to predict his every next move, to hold him back from taking the wrong steps but also allowing him to make the mistakes he had to learn and grow.

Jaemin was surprised to find he enjoyed being an angel. It was never a vocation he would have expected himself to find pleasure in, or even be skilful at, but he blushed with pride whenever Renjun warmly complimented him on what a good job he was doing with Jeno, and how Jeno was sunny and unshadowed and full of life and love in a way very few mortals were.

(Privately, Jaemin felt that it had much more to do with Jeno's inborn and own personality than his care or guidance. In fact, occasionally he felt he was learning more from Jeno than Jeno was from him, that he was unworthy of being the angel of a person as brilliant and dazzling as Jeno.)

Then, somehow, Jeno would stop his nonexistent heart by doing something utterly and wholly unexpected and breathtaking like closing his eyes on the last moment before he tipped into sleep at night, and saying quietly, in his head, _Thank you_. As if he knew that Jaemin was there, watching over him; as if he could sense Jaemin's existence, even when Jaemin didn't exist.

Just those two words made everything Jaemin painstakingly went through to pave Jeno's road totally and completely worth it.

*

Gradually, they developed a routine. They would spend all day — from the moment they woke till the moment the air around them darkened to a starless black — watching their mortals through the portals, because that was all they wanted to do.

But when the sun set, Renjun and Jaemin would tear themselves away with reluctance and join each other, spending alone time together. They were careful to devote time to nurturing their friendship and giving each other warmth and companionship as well.

If they had the desire to eat or any appetites for food, they would have had dinner together, maybe having a barbeque with good meat under the open night sky. But since they didn't, they contented themselves with talking and laughing together till they grew tired and fell asleep next to each other.

And one morning Jaemin woke up and realised he had nothing to want for. In spite of everything, in spite of the fact that they still had no idea where this place was and what they were here for, in spite of the fact that Donghyuck and Jeno didn't know them and would probably never know them — Jaemin and Renjun were happy. In this private, secular universe with just the four of them, they had managed to find happiness in each other.

And that, Jaemin thought, was a greater miracle than the fact he had landed in this bizarre temporum without rhyme or reason after he departed the earthly world.

*

So, together, they continued watching silently over Donghyuck and Jeno. Sometimes they switched windows, just for fun. And sometimes they got upset with their own mortals and the other had to cajole and persuade them to forgive the poor boys because they were mere humans, with their beautiful flaws and imperfections. And sometimes they got uselessly angry and devastated at the thought that Donghyuck and Jeno would never see them, or know how much Jaemin and Renjun loved them. That they would never know how worthy they were of such love.

They watched Donghyuck and Jeno's friendship blossom tentatively, then grow into something steady and strong and lasting. They teared up, then got embarrassed, when Donghyuck and Jeno were the pillars of support for each other they themselves could never be. With bated breaths, they watched Donghyuck and Jeno fall in awkward and clumsy crushes with each other, then realise their mutual feelings. They watched them fall out of friendship and into love — then out of love and back into a more fraught and hesitant friendship.

They watched them fall down and get up, fail and succeed, overcome obstacles that only made them into stronger and better people. Jaemin and Renjun watched Donghyuck and Jeno grow into adults who made them so proud they were bursting with it, into people filled with love and the ability to share it.

*

The years passed. Donghyuck and Jeno dated various girls and had a string of girlfriends, and made other close friends like Mark and Chenle and Jisung, but never fell out of their best-friendship.

The year Donghyuck and Jeno turned twenty-seven, Jaemin and Renjun still remained twenty-one and nineteen. But despite their outward and stagnated ages, they felt like they had grown immeasurably as well, just by being beside each other and their amazing, unbelievably humane mortals.

*

One unremarkable, dateless morning, Jaemin woke up, as usual, and just like that, Renjun had grown wings.

He seemed to have sprouted them overnight, in his sleep, without any pain or memory. With tears brimming in his eyes and overflowing with desperation and fear and the exhilaration of freedom, Renjun asked him, his hands running compulsively over the feathery, beating downy appendages in wonder: "What's going to happen next?”

"I don't want to leave you," Jaemin heard a frightened, childlike voice saying, cracking on the last word, and at first he thought it was Renjun but then Renjun reached out and drew him into his arms warmly and Jaemin realised with a start that it was him.

"I don't want you to leave," Jaemin was crying, like a lost abandoned child, the way he had on the first day he had woken up in this strange, twisted heaven and Renjun had been looming over him like he was Jaemin's personal guardian angel instead of Donghyuck's; and in many ways, Jaemin thought that he was.

Donghyuck hadn't known Renjun, so he didn't have to bear the pain of saying goodbye — but how could anyone, in this world or the other, possibly endure the agony of bidding farewell to Renjun, when they had known his softness, tenderness and compassion?

Renjun was a true angel, Jaemin realised, in all the ways Jaemin would never be. He was everything an angel was supposed to be — unselfish, selfless and self-sacrificing. He saved Donghyuck and he had saved Jaemin too, and Jaemin hadn't known how much he needed an angel till it was too late and Renjun was deserting him.

*

”Oh, Jaemin,” Renjun whispered hoarsely, his voice filled with so much warmth and affection and love that Jaemin only cried harder. Renjun suddenly seemed so much more mature, older and wiser and more lofty. Did it come with the wings, Jaemin wondered? But it was clear Renjun had finally found his inner peace.

"It hurts to leave you too, my favourite,” Renjun continued in that hypnotically calming voice, like molten sunshine and falling rain. "But trust me, it's only a matter of time before we'll be together again. And when that time comes, it will be forever. You just have to be patient. And did you forget that you still have Jeno? What will he do without you? We both know how hopeless he is, what a bumbling klutz..."

Renjun's voice had regained a bit of its old teasing note, and Jaemin snorted a half-hearted but still unbearably sad laugh.

"Why can't you stay here? With me? A little longer..." he whined, sounding more and more like Renjun's child.

"I don't know, Jaem,” Renjun replied evenly, with the same placid tranquility he calmed Jaemin down with the day he arrived above the clouds. Unconsciously, Jaemin had grown to love their cloud-home, where they spent long languid hours just observing Donghyuck and Jeno and gossiping about them and laughing about them and worrying about them and aching about them, but mostly loving them.

"But," Renjun continued, his eyes growing more and more distant, as if he had already left, "if we hadn't come here, we wouldn't have met Donghyuck and Jeno and each other. We wouldn't have known this happiness."

"Were you happy? With me? Are you happy now?" Jaemin was grasping at straws, tugging at Renjun's clothing urgently as if he could keep him here just by sheer brute force.

Renjun nodded and smiled at him radiantly, a smile filled with sympathy and acceptance.

"I was so happy because of you. Before you came, I hated this place; but for the past years, I felt so lucky to be stuck here with you. Thank you for everything."

Jaemin heard a sob catch in his own throat. "What about Donghyuck? What will that fool do without you?" Jaemin quoted a line Renjun often used in tender exasperation, and saw the unmistakable flicker of sadness in Renjun's eyes.

"I can't bear to leave either of you,” Renjun said with aching softness. "But sometimes we have no choice but to say goodbye. And I'm sure — absolutely certain Donghyuck will be just fine without me, on his own. Just like you."

Jaemin had nothing else to say or add. Because Renjun had made himself clear. He wanted to leave. And because Jaemin loved him, he had to let go.

Because if Jeno had taught Jaemin what love was, then Renjun was the one who taught him how to love without expecting anything in return.

*

An innumerable and uncountable number of dreadfully lonely nights later, Jaemin found himself dreaming, for the first time since he had ascended to this castle in the sky.

*

When he awoke, he didn't dare to open his eyes for a moment, feeling sure that when he did, he would find wings billowing from his back, magnificent and ready for flight to wherever Renjun was.

But he found something better. Much, much unimaginably better.

Because what he saw was Jeno, curled up like a miracle in bright white, sleeping peacefully next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much if you gave this a shot and read till the end. Your readership [and kudos, comments and every other way readers have interacted with this fic and showed love to it] means the world to me <3 if you like my writing, you can check out more of my works on both gotchick and pinkfen. If you enjoy my magical realism in particular, I recommend my time travel au ‘7 days a week’. Have a lovely day :)


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